Last week I heard words that most fathers dread coming from their daughters.
“I’m going to marry a dude with blue eyes who likes dogs.” Actually, it was my wife who overheard the
exchange and delivered the news that blew this “helicopter dad” out of the sky.
“Oh, good thing we’re in California!” I thought. “There are no guys like that around here!”
Jeesh! She turned 12 six seconds ago! The night before she was playing with plastic dinosaurs. Now she’s talking about DUDES!? Friends told me this overnight change would happen. I just didn’t think it was going to be at the stroke of midnight.
Well, if it has to be this way, I’m going to have a say in what kind of DUDE is allowed to bring his blue eyes and dog in the vicinity of my daughter.
It goes without saying if he uses the word “sustainability” he’s going to get “capped and traded.” Also, if he wants to “Occupy” anything, it better be a high paying position at a reputable establishment.
To show that it’s not all political with me, if he has a tattoo, he better be a Navy Seal and if he wears an ear ring he’ll be doubling as an ornament at Christmas.
Perhaps I’m a bit extreme. Although I don’t have blue eyes and I’m not much of a dog person, my best weapon is to be a good DUDE myself and set a solid example to guide her choosing. So on that note, “right on,” “hang ten,” “far out,” and “knarly”…we’ll see you DUDES next time.